20 UNRECOGNIZABLE HABITS

The following are transactional communication patterns (aws) that we humans often let become
unnoticeable habits (to us) that create challenges and roadblocks in our interactions with others: This
list is compiled from Marshall Goldsmith’s book “What got you here won’t get you there.” Pg 40

1. Winning too much: the need to win at all costs and in all situations- when it matters, when it doesn’t,
   and when it’s totally beside the point.
2. Adding too much value: The overwhelming desire to add our two cents to every discussion.
3. Passing judgment: The need to rate others and impose our standards on them.
4. Making destructive comments: the needless sarcasms and cutting remarks that we think make us
   sound sharp and witty.
5. Starting with “No,” “But,” or “However”: The overuse of these negative qualiers which
   secretly say to everyone, “I’m right, You’re wrong.”
6. Telling the world how smart you are: The need to show people we’re smarter than they think
   we are.
7. Speaking when angry: Using emotional volatility as a management tool.
8. Negativity: “Let me explain why that won’t work”: The need to share our negative thoughts even
   when we were not asked.
9. Withholding information: The refusal to share information with others to maintain an advantage
   over them.
10. Failing to give proper recognition: The inability to praise and reward.
11. Claiming credit that we do not deserve: The most annoying way to overestimate our
    contributions to any success.
12. Making excuses: The need to reposition our annoying behavior as a permanent xture so people
    excuse us for it.
13. Clinging to the past: The need to deect blame away from ourselves and onto events and people
    from our past; a subset to blaming everyone else.
14. Playing favorites: Failing to see that we are treating someone unfairly.
15. Refusing to express regret: The inability to take responsibility for our actions, admit we’re wrong,
    or recognize how our actions affect others.
16. Not listening: The most passive-aggressive form of disrespect for colleagues.
17. Failing to express gratitude: The most basic form of bad manners.
18. Punishing the messenger: The misguided need to attack the innocent who are usually only trying to help
19. Passing the buck: The need to blame everyone but ourselves
20. An excessive need to be “me”: Exalting our faults as virtues simply because they’re who we are.